Wild bucking ride

Well.

It's December 17th, exactly five months to the day I began this crazy, wild, life-changing adventure of taking my book Tattoo This Madness In, and telling people "look--I wrote this."

If you've been reading this blog, then you know what TTMI has done. But I'd like to tell you more about what it's been like for me personally, since I so rarely do that. I'm comfortable to lurk behind my computer screen, but I get the feeling that people want to have a swat at me out in the open. Here's the question I get asked most frequently (with a mischievous glint in their eye): "Is your book...um...autobiographical?" The short answer is that the surface details are all different, but the emotional core of the book was ripped out and transplanted directly from my own experiences. Et voila, this is the miracle of fiction.

I'm blown away by the vibrant life my book has assumed. It's an entity, and I've sort of lost control of what it does 'out there'. Holy crap. I had no idea what a powerful tool a book is, in terms of reaching out to people and having them reach out to you. It's a homing device for intimate contact. I'm still touched by the couple who came to my Queer McGill presentation, and who ended up pouring their hearts out about being the parents of a queer daughter. The event literally turned into a support group.

The human factor: up,up,up.

Many Ex-Jehovah's Witnesses have embraced TTMI and contacted me, sharing their heartbreaking and uplifting stories. One woman emailed me the day her entire family decided to shun her. I've developed a beautiful friendship with a young man from a Jehovah's Witness family wrestling with his sexuality. There's some violently personal stuff in my Inbox.

University students have written about Tattoo This Madness In for research projects on religion, and one student has asked to interview me for her course on cults.

Then there was the German couple who asked me to dedicate a copy of my book to the City of Munich. Hmm.

This all leads me to believe I've written a book that has a high human factor. To me, that's the best indirect compliment possible.

I've prized all the feedback I've received, and for the insight it's given me. Remember, that as the writer, I have no perspective. It's extremely revealing and moving to me to find out what makes you giggle, what makes you nauseated, what makes you cry, what gives you a curiously pleasant fever, and what makes you miss subway stops. What's amazing is that when 10 people respond to an interview I've done, they will cite 10 completely different things that resonated with them, often elements I had previously dismissed as unimportant.

The attention has been overwhelming. I've bumped into people at parties who've read my book, I've overheard bar-folk talking about it, and I've opened newspapers to find letters to the editor about sexual dysfunction in Jehovah's Witness teenagers. It's unreal. The media has been all over TTMI. Ironically, it's turned into somewhat of a cult and it's spreading like healthy bacteria. Internet rebels write to me about the state of the Smurf Revolution. I say, rock on.

I've had such fun! One of the golden moments: me going on the air on CKUT FM and telling Montreal that when I was a teenager, "...all I wanted to do was suck cock!"

You know, I didn't work alone.

To all who have had a hand in giving this book a life and making my writerly dreams come true--thank-you immensely. Steve, Kate and Cathy of Dusty Owl Press are the ones who took a chance on me and made it all happen. Steve, you toiled mercilessly with me to edit TTMI and didn't let me get away with anything, then you slogged your ass to zine fairs across Canada to show people what we'd done. Kate, you've seized the power of the small press to reach people at a grassroots level. Your professionalism astounds me. Thanks for all the behind-the-scenes hustle you do. Mark, what would I do without you? I would definitely have shorter wings. You have championed this book from day one, challenging me to reach my potential. Anita and Marek, you're my guardian angels and I'm proud to call you my friends.

The list of people to thank is too long, and it's set up for me to forget key names. I trust that you will be able to recognize yourselves in the following character profiles: to those of you who have bought TTMI, read it, given me feedback on it, sold it, encouraged others to buy it, publicized it, believed in it (important one), given me a place to write, offered me technical support, interviewed me, hosted me at an event, attended one of my events, propelled me forward, sent me kudos, given me opportunities--YOU ROCK! Never underestimate the power of a small gesture. When they add up, they make independent artists feel like they breathe super-hero oxygen.

Now I must go. The bath is running.

I will take a bath and sink into a juicy book. And when I get out, I'm going to start writing again, so that when I tell people I'm a writer, I'll be telling them the god-awful, the horrible truth.

Daniel